CONFIRMED!!

With our friends, Terri and Reid at Silver Spur restaurant.
Andrew in English class

Often, a battle rages in my mind and I find myself crying out to God, aloud, when I'm alone...the battle usually centers around fear or loss or fear of loss and the pain that comes with that.

On my trip to Nairobi this past week, I was hit hard.  FEAR and the pain that comes with LOSS.

I am a fearful person.  Maybe you could call it my "thorn in the flesh".  So, boarding a plane ALONE to another country is a fearsome thing. 

 The first time I had to do this, I was a 19 year old college student.  I had never been on a plane before and was expecting to be flying with friends to the Philippines, but due to a mix up, found myself traveling ALONE from KC to Dallas and then on to LAX where I would meet up with my friends.  I remember telling the trip leader, Mr. Ken Liles, on the phone, "I can't do this!  I've never even flown before."  

I still hear two voices every time I have to fly alone.  Mr Ken Liles:  "I have faith in you.  You can do this!"  My husband:  "Being brave isn't the absence of fear; it's facing your fears, and you are the bravest woman I know!"

So, on Friday I boarded a plane for Nairobi to see my first-born.  I knew that when I got there, I would have to get in a taxi with a stranger.  I knew that while I was there, I'd have to get in a car and drive in some of the world's worst traffic to "places unknown."  I have a terrible sense of direction!

All of  this wasn't the most difficult part, though.  As someone who VOWED she would never send her children to boarding school, I faced another battle:  once again having to leave my fiercely loved 15 year old at boarding school on Tuesday and that inevitable "hole in your heart" kind of loss.

  You might say I had developed a bit of an attitude about Rift Valley Academy.   As if they were holding my son hostage.  I was looking for any excuse to not send him back there next year!  

Monday night, terribly exhausted from my emotional battle, I gave up and cried out to God, "God, if this is REALLY your plan for Andrew's life, I'm asking you to give me some confirmation, because I just want him home with us."  At that moment, any choice would have been preferable to boarding school.

Tuesday morning, Andrew asked me to go to classes with him.  Mother with a bad attitude meeting teachers!  I feel like a liar when I have to hide my feelings!

First period English class:  A brand new teacher.  I expected the students to take advantage of her, misbehave, be uncooperative.  She told them they were going to do a project and asked for immediate participation.  Brave girl to do this on her first day!  I didn't expect to see what I saw:  kids with their hands up, interacting, showing excitement about "A Tale of Two Cities."  HMMM!

Second period Algebra class:  The teacher made a special effort to talk to me.  This is Andrew's most challenging class. He wanted to make sure I knew he was committed to helping Andrew through.

Third period Bible class:  The class was studying, verse by verse, John chapter 11.  The story of Lazarus.  Once again I saw a passionate teacher and passionate students.  They were interacting, their insights were AMAZING, they were being challenged to live their faith when Satan tried to get them to question God's goodness or God's power.

Add those three experiences in with my observation of my 15 year old son as a respectful, loving, caring individual...

mix it all together and you have a mom who left there crying tears of joy, not sadness.  Her cries to God had been answered. 

 CONFIRMED!  Rift Valley Academy is the most AMAZING school I've ever seen!  CONFIRMED!  God is working out a wonderful plan in Andrew's life.  I can't wait to watch it unfold.